In cyberspace, a kind of “two-way tearing” covers many contemporary youth.
On the one hand, they have been active on all kinds of apps for a longer and longer time: reveling in microblog comments, swiping the screen in the barrage of station B, and frantically “chopping hands” before live broadcasting with goods A stiff combination of expression pack, or a brainless spoken language, can usher in brush stem army.
On the other hand, they face a growing sense of loneliness and anxiety. “Keyboard depression” and “online social phobia” (referring to social phobia), go to sleep with melancholy music at night, and click “what is it like to be a person lost to the extreme” in Zhihu, in order to find a trace of comfort of “sympathizing with each other”.
In the face of such a tear, the contemporary youth caught in the tide of the Internet, in the end, how should they reshape their self-cultivation and keep their physical and mental health? And how can they banish their loneliness to find a really suitable stage for themselves in front of the keyboard?
Photo source: visual China
Reporter Wei Jingyu, Liu Fangzhou, Wang ona, Zhu Lili, Zhu Hanlin Guangyao
When sad vent, anger when vent, in reality difficult to express a variety of emotions in cyberspace wantonly release. Keyboard depression, online social phobia, dis addiction, and some Internet emotional syndrome spread among young people. “I’m depressed but not really depressed,” “I surf the Internet but don’t want to socialize,” “I swear to avoid being scolded” Some Internet youth take the emotional roller coaster, revel on the Internet, but also lose on the Internet.
Psychological sketch of Internet youth
——”For Fu new words, strong say worry”: consumer depression keyboard.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me. I don’t like myself either.” Xiao Xin, who has just entered the workplace, is a lively girl in her life. However, she often makes some funeral comments on the network platform. “The Internet is free, which can shake out the emotions in every corner of my heart.” “To enter adult society, you need to be serious, but on the Internet, I can cry as much as I want,” Xiaoxin said
More and more people vent their “bereavement” in reality on the Internet, and the depressive mood pervades the social platform. In some Internet forums, some people joked, “depression” seems to be the threshold to enter some cyberspace.
Some young people with little experience are easy to be moved by themselves. They are not really depressed. They are just moved by the image of “bereaved and weak” created by themselves. They are also worried about other “similar” people on the Internet. Those with depression on the keyboard are anxious to write new words, and consumption depression also brings them more praise.
——”Refusing to be labeled”: the voice of online social terrorists.
Xiao Zhou, 28, can’t remember when he last looked at his circle of friends. “I feel that everyone is managing their own false image in the circle of friends, and the news is to serve this purpose.” In Xiao Zhou’s opinion, the circle of friends is becoming more and more a place to shape social image. There are even special training courses to guide you how to create a certain high-quality image.
Xiao Zhou thinks that he is a person who dislikes being labeled, but his circle of friends is bound to be labeled, so he doesn’t know how to be himself. “It’s a lot to worry about. Finally, I will pay attention to who likes me and who doesn’t. Later, it simply stopped sending, and wechat eventually became an address book. ” “I prefer to get along with real people,” Zhou said
Photo source: visual China
Like and forward on social platforms is becoming an inefficient or even ineffective communication. Many people may rush to like and forward without seeing what it is, just to appear “I am paying attention to you”, as if the person who likes is “true friend”. This kind of social environment is depressing, and some people start to fear and escape these online social activities. “For the so-called friends who don’t like each other, the efficiency of online communication has been significantly improved.” Xiao Zhou said.
——”Defend my voice”: the cry of dis addicts.
It’s a relaxing game platform, but it’s more and more hostile. Yao Yao, born in the 1990s, is a fan of online games. Although she is a senior player, she has always been difficult to adapt to the ubiquitous “spray” in the game.
“The game needs to form a team to play, cooperate well to win, but it is very easy to trigger a war of words.” Yao Yao said that most of the “spurs” are self-centered. Teammates scold their teammates for not saving them in time. They also scold their teammates when they lose. What’s more, they just add friends to insult them.
After 00, Xiao Lin, a Star chaser, learned to curse “elegantly” when making lists and commenting on his favorite stars. “Black powder should be criticized bitterly, but there should be no dirty words, otherwise it will be blocked and labeled.” When talking about online scolding experience, Xiao Lin is right.
Yao Yao and Xiao Lin find that netizens are generally “more and more irascible”, and often diss each other when they disagree. Kobayashi said that this is a kind of “forced resistance”, not swearing will be scolded. Yao Yao believes that people who are addicted to online diss enjoy a sense of language manipulation. Many “small environments” in the network society are conducive to the breeding of such a sense of “domineering” manipulation. Lin pin, a lecturer at the school of Arts of Capital Normal University, believes that there is a widespread “diode thinking” in the Internet. Addiction to DIS is a rejection of dissent, reflecting the irrationality and distrust of netizens.
Uncontrollable life, enlarged and strengthened network
Internet emotional syndrome is often a projection of real life, which is only manifested in cyberspace, or strengthened and magnified. “Because the Internet has the stealth function, when expressing on the Internet, there is less to worry about, and some negative emotions may be magnified.” Liu Shengtao, an associate professor at the Academy of Educational Sciences of Hunan University, said.
Some young people have all kinds of extreme emotional expression on the Internet, which is generally due to the accumulation of emotion in reality and the lack of expression channels, and the network provides compensation space for this deficiency. Some people are deeply depressed in real life and take the cyberspace, which basically does not have to bear the consequences, as an outlet to vent their emotions; some people are difficult to control the real life and want to find a sense of manipulation in the network society; some people just feel that life is too boring and enjoy the pleasure of creating contradictions and opposites in the network.
The characteristics of “circle” in cyberspace are becoming more and more obvious. Individuals tend to seek identification and keep warm together. Some extreme emotional expressions are easier to “catch the eye” than rational and peaceful speech. Lin pin said that netizens in the tribal, hierarchical network society, through the “interest edge” together, establish ties, become a small society.
“This kind of emotional community needs to be maintained, so it is easy to have path dependence on the simplest way to enhance group identity, which is to divide the enemy and ourselves and to be consistent with the outside world.” Xu Jinghong, a professor at the school of Journalism and communication at Beijing Normal University, said, “the interactive state of online” swearing mutual hostility “has a strong offensive and defensive attribute, resulting in a variety of group polarization. The more swearing words you see, the more likely you are to say them.”
Photo source: visual China
The anonymity of communication and the limited means of supervision also contribute to the spread of extreme emotions on the Internet. Xu Jinghong said that the Internet has created a virtual social identity for everyone, so that netizens can enjoy more freedom of speech and express their opinions through online comments. However, the anonymity of cyberspace also enables netizens to escape from the identity requirements in reality and are more willing to show their emotional selves. “To a large extent, this dispels the possibility of rational communication in cyberspace, making young people accustomed to conveying emotions rather than communicating views.”
When some people’s emotional catharsis crosses the boundary and causes harm to others, there is no effective means to restrict and supervise them. Yao Yao said that the game customer service has to deal with a lot of “scolding to scold” reports, but at most is to deduct the player’s credit score, which has never been able to change the situation of “spray” everywhere.
Emotions, like tides, pour into reality from the Internet
The emotion, language and behavior of cyberspace are pouring into reality unconsciously. Many young people’s emotional expression, language communication and behavior habits are marked with the network mark, which strengthens the characteristics of “Irrationality”, “vulnerability” and “blind obedience”.
——Extreme emotions on the Internet affect the emotional expression in reality. Some psychological counseling experts worry that people with keyboard depression may neglect the people who really suffer from depression. In the environment of keyboard depression, depression, as a kind of psychological disease, has experienced a process from “romanticization” to “stigmatization” in cyberspace. At first, it was “the most tender disease in the world”, and then it became the label of the so-called “Internet suppressing cloud” users’ emotional expression. People with depression are usually reluctant to share their feelings with others, and they tend to be self closed because of the difficulty in sharing happiness and sadness. In the “keyboard depression” trend, they are more difficult to detect and understand.
——Network dirty words pollute daily communication and aggravate social anger. Xu Jinghong said that it is necessary to be alert to the dirty words on the Internet that “wash white” and then enter into daily expression. Some words with vulgar taste have become almost neutral words through their habitual use. “If this kind of phenomenon exists for a long time and is widespread, we may even gradually accept some network dirty words into our daily expression.”
——Once the network bad behavior solidifies into habit, it is easy to affect the personal healthy growth. As time goes on, some netizens will become desensitized to some network phenomena: they once hated each other’s attacks on the Internet, but now they turn a blind eye to them, and they may also scold them. In the past, they would consider the consequences of publishing some content online, but now they blurt out without thinking Individual’s bad behavior on the Internet is not restricted for a long time, which will reduce their sense of shame on these behaviors, and gradually think that these behaviors are reasonable, and they may also do the same in real life.
Violence, hypocrisy and negative energy network environment will damage the physical and mental health of teenagers. The behavior acquisition of teenagers mainly comes from the imitation of their surroundings, and the Internet is one of the important channels for teenagers to contact the outside world. All kinds of extreme emotions on the Internet can easily blur the right and wrong judgment of teenagers, which makes their moral quality decline and their moral concepts fade down, and even sow the seeds of treason and even crime.
Reporter Bai Jiali, Zhu Hanlin, Guangyao, Julie, Wang ona, Liu Fangzhou
“It’s hard to say whether the stress of offline life makes us show negative emotions online, or whether the transmission of online negative emotions leads to the accumulation of offline negative emotions. I feel that under the double pressure, happiness becomes difficult. ” Zhang Wen (pseudonym), an employee of a company in Tianjin, said that after work every day, she spent most of her time brushing her mobile phone. When she turned off her mobile phone, “depression” would hit her.
Xia Chao, senior author of the pan psychology brand knowyourself, said that the most important characteristic of young people nowadays is that they are dizzy with choices, showing a sense of confusion, tiredness and unconsciousness. And with the slide to nothingness mood is accompanied by the overwhelming negative emotions on the network.
Xiao Li, a 30-year-old office worker, is a “ashes level” online game player, but also has social phobia. He doesn’t like to talk with people at ordinary times. He tries to avoid dealing with people in the company. He indulges in online games when he comes home from work every day, and refuses all kinds of parties. Weekend is still his game time, “small” also difficult to invite. “I know that virtual games are time-consuming, but they can help me avoid communicating with people, avoid embarrassment when I have nothing to say, and worry about being embarrassed when I can’t catch up with the topic.” Said Xiao Li.
Pay attention to the individual life of contemporary youth
“In the great social changes of marketization and urbanization, contemporary youth have been unable to experience and have the collective life and collective identity of their parents’ generation, and it is also difficult to obtain the sense of belonging established on the network of acquaintances in traditional rural society.” Lin pin, a lecturer at the school of Arts of Capital Normal University, said that in an increasingly atomized modern society, everyone has become an independent competitive individual in the market. Facing competition at any time, but lacking care and comfort, it is easy to produce huge emotional fluctuations. Therefore, when we see the release of various emotions on the Internet, we should pay more attention to the individual life state of contemporary youth.
With the development of study, job hunting and job hopping, the life circle of contemporary youth is constantly changing. It is very common for young people to live in different places with their families and friends. Especially in big cities, it is difficult to find an offline channel for emotional catharsis. And what they are facing is the huge pressure of life and work.
Zhang Wen said frankly: “my friends can count them in one hand, and we all have their own lives. It’s hard to get together. Separated from their parents for a long time, there are few common topics. In addition to the impact of the epidemic, offline activities are less and less. Besides working, it seems that they have to stay at home. ”
At the same time, young people are getting younger and younger. Many of them have not the ability to think independently and rationally, so they begin to “wander” in the network tide and form personalized groups in the network world. Some experts believe that this is especially obvious in the “rice circle” and online games, and even in some network “curse wars” and hot topics, young groups have become the main force.
On the Internet, “get out of the entertainment circle” and “get out of the earth” are not uncommon. Wang Xiangnan, a psychology professor and doctoral supervisor at a university in Guangxi, said: “some young netizens are not happy, but they have no principles and mature world outlook and values. Their speeches are full of contempt, ridicule and hostility.” Wang Xiangnan said that they were sometimes crazy about hot events and characters, and they made irresponsible remarks by relying on the keyboard and mouse.
Wang Xiangnan expressed his concern about this phenomenon, saying: “at present, young people’s lives are increasingly inseparable from the Internet, and the boundary between reality and virtuality is becoming more and more blurred. Personal life state will bring about network emotional problems, which in turn will also affect personal life, which produces some negative effects, which is not conducive to personal and social development. If online emotional problems continue to life, they may cause emotional outbursts, manic, social panic or severe depression, and in serious cases, they may hurt people, hurt objects, and even have the idea of suicide. The negative comments of individual netizens will be multiplied after being spread by many people, which is easy to incite other netizens and hinder the healthy operation of society. ”
Remolding self-cultivation needs joint efforts both online and offline
“The network is an information superhighway, which brings huge amounts of information to users, and gradually forms a network society which is different from the real society. This is a great change facing mankind, which not only greatly facilitates people’s life, but also brings corresponding problems and challenges Wang Xiangnan said.
Many experts believe that the current problem of network abuse can not be ignored, and many morbid phenomena are emerging day by day. While the relevant departments strengthen supervision and purification, young people, as an active group in the network society, should also cultivate themselves and strengthen their self-discipline.
Zheng Xuejing, a young man in the Internet Society
In the network tide, the most important thing is to cultivate the ability to distinguish true and false information and to extract effective information. The biggest characteristic of the Internet age is information overload. The Internet has also broken the previous one-way information transmission and reception relationship. Only when individuals can effectively screen rumors to a certain extent, and can rationally treat all kinds of inflammatory information on the network, and not be bewitched by them, can the self-cultivation in the network society have a foundation for discussion.
In addition, attention to “from the virtual to the real” has been repeatedly stressed by the experts interviewed. The situation of “online intimacy and offline alienation” is not in line with the normal communication needs between people. Only by getting rid of the excessive dependence on the media, pulling out from the virtual world, seeking more offline emotional support and direction, and conducting offline communication and interaction between people, can the healthy and stable emotional connection be truly established and the long-term internalization of negative emotions be avoided. “Making more friends in reality, having a rich offline life and healthy psychology are the biggest help to cultivate self-cultivation in the network society.” Lin pin said.
In the face of the current situation of “Internet access”, schools should take on more important responsibilities in the process of network literacy cultivation. Schools are more public, and the education system can help students gradually understand, understand and use media through targeted and hierarchical setting of relevant courses, which many parents are unable to do due to their personal knowledge level and media ability.
Huang Weiqiang, founder of the Internet psychological counseling platform, believes that every generation will experience some “panic” when they grow up or enter the society for the first time. Just as their parents “wore bell bottomed trousers, long hair, and listened to pop songs,” today’s generation has its own form of emotion. “Media workers and cultural workers should conduct correct value guidance, let young people establish a belief, keep the fire in their hearts, believe that they can create more value and prevent being dragged into the abyss by nihilism.”
Reporter Wang Chunyan
Once, “on the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog”; now, “on the Internet, no one has privacy.”.
Once upon a time, there was no secret between neighbors living in a courtyard; now, neighbors living in the opposite door do not know each other.
today we are no longer as we have been. Just like the present virtual world and the real world, in the process of mutual influence and integration, people often feel in a trance: which is the real?
Under the profound influence of the network world and the real world, the real communication between people is gradually reduced, especially the youth group, which is becoming more and more atomized. Loneliness has become a shared label of many people.
Is loneliness good or bad? Some people enjoy it and benefit a lot, others try to get rid of it but can’t do it. Some people regard the carnival on the Internet as the antidote to loneliness How to get along with loneliness is a compulsory course for many people in the Internet age.
How to “cultivate” loneliness in the Internet age, and how to transcend loneliness in reality?
Shared tags for contemporary young people
Sun Haipeng, a young man in the small town, takes the initiative to cut off the Internet for two hours every day. He uses this time to exercise, or to turn over books and practice calligraphy, or simply chat with his parents and listen to their nagging about his family.
“To tell you the truth, I was not used to it at the beginning. I always wanted to pick up my mobile phone to see if someone was looking for me, and if there was any important news missed.” Sun Haipeng said that later, he found that even if he didn’t look at the mobile phone, he would not delay anything important. Instead, he had more harvest.
“I feel more secure in my heart. Whether it’s exercising or reading and writing, it’s a positive input process. Later, I insisted, and I would turn off the social software alert during the two-hour “alone” process. If you really need me, just call me. ” Sun Haipeng said.
But not everyone can find inner peace as quickly as sun Haipeng. Lying in bed watching mobile phones, all kinds of information read, the news in each group are also turned over, but the “post-90s” girls will not speak in the group. There is really no “new thing”. I will choose to watch variety shows or series in silence, but I can’t hold on for long because I still want to know whether there are interesting things in other apps. Every time she made up her mind to put down her mobile phone, she needed to get up early to go to work the next day. “So every Friday and Saturday, I went to bed at two or three o’clock in the morning, but now I think about it, I don’t see anything.”
More and more young people living alone choose to accompany their pets
Silent is a “Beipiao”, every day after work to return to the room shared with others, eat takeout in a hurry, there is nothing wrong. “After working for a few years, I feel that I have less and less contact with my classmates. I only have nodding acquaintance with my colleagues. I don’t have any boyfriends or other social activities, so I just have to surf the Internet.”
In real life, there are a lot of single people like silent who are “full of food for one person and not hungry for the whole family”. Their journey is basically two-point and one-line. Life outside work is too simple to be any more simple for various reasons: ordering takeout, surfing the Internet and sleeping.
“For a long time, I think it’s good to eat alone and surf the Internet. Take out is very convenient, or you can make some semi-finished products at will. Now the convenience food is also very healthy. I just feel that life is boring and a little lonely. ” Say it in silence.
There are also a group of people, like silent “bubble” in the Internet all day, but have a different life. Some people use the most convenient network learning resources, use their spare time to “charge” themselves; some people are writing on the Internet, and they are engaged in the “official account” and “headline” which many people are concerned about. These people, although they are the same two first line, the same take away, Internet, sleep, but because of the different demands of the Internet, they have a different understanding of loneliness.
Loneliness is a fork in the road
At present, different ways of getting along with loneliness lead to different life.
Some people choose to keep warm. When many people brush drama or variety shows on the “little broken station”, the most reassuring thing for them is the overwhelming barrage of bullets. “Here comes” “punch in” “deduct a 1” Those seemingly just brush the bullet screen of existence, but give a lot of people a different feeling.
Zhihu netizens “don’t know” the feeling of the bullet screen is: “there are a lot of people watching with you. These bullet screens in different time and space are presented in front of you. You can immediately know the thoughts of those who are similar to or different from you.”
This kind of “divine intercourse” is also a kind of social activity for many people, which saves the greetings in the real world and is simple and direct.
The “group”, “community” and “group chat” in cyberspace have similar functions. When you want to fight against loneliness, there will be a circle to embrace you, and there will be people to help you overcome difficulties in various ways, temporarily forget loneliness and feel warm.
In the face of loneliness, there are always some people who choose to “face hard” with loneliness and do not give loneliness a chance to breathe.
Online learning, offline fitness, online writing, offline travel In many people’s eyes, loneliness is not terrible, just a state, no need to praise. If you spend more time at your own disposal, you can arrange a variety of online and offline activities. In the eyes of such people, loneliness also means busy.
However, some people have too much time to know what to do, and their negative emotions gradually accumulate. When there is no place to vent, the seemingly free virtual world becomes their “venting bucket”. They make a lot of rude remarks on the Internet. No matter what they see, they will scold them endlessly, as if the whole world is making mistakes. Some people are self aggrieved, and their messages are full of disappointment with life, and they are not interested in everything, It seems that they are the most unfortunate people in the world; some people simply shut themselves in a world that only they can enter, indifferent to everything outside, and refusing others to enter their own world, as if living in a vacuum
Let loneliness squat in the corner,
“I” deserves a bigger stage
Readers familiar with the Harry Potter series all know that there is a magical creature called Bogart, which can see through your heart and become the thing you fear most. The mantra against Bogot is Bogart’s banishment curse “funny funny”, which makes Bogart look the funniest you think. The more people there are, the better Bogart deals with it, because it doesn’t know what to turn into. What really killed Bogart was laughter. When you laughed, Bogart turned into smoke and disappeared.
Loneliness is like Bogart of Muggle world.
But in the face of the ubiquitous loneliness, it is not a “funny” can easily solve. In order to get along with loneliness harmoniously, we need a series of great tactics of “cultivating” loneliness.
First of all, we should face up to the existence of loneliness. Many people refuse to admit that they are lonely, or think that they are not lonely, but the busy network world, most of the time is just a way to pass time, and does not let the lost time in exchange for its due value. After the uniform barrage and the news headlines, the regret and regret of wasted time are left behind. Therefore, facing up to our loneliness is the first step to reconcile with loneliness.
Second, find a suitable corner for solitude instead of letting it dominate. Let alone to fill their time alone, loneliness is like a runaway wild horse, I do not know where it will run. More sense of self-discipline, consciously ask themselves to leave the Internet, feel more smoke and fire in the real world. More crisis awareness, with reading, travel, volunteer services and other activities to self-improvement, increase knowledge reserves, improve self-cultivation. When this kind of life lasts for a period of time, you will be immersed in it and enjoy yourself. When you look back, loneliness is no more than that.
Third, we should try our best to achieve “the same as what we see” online and offline. Many people’s loneliness comes from the feeling that some people on the Internet understand themselves, but there are few confidants in real life. Therefore, the online “I” lives like a fish in water, while the offline “I” is struggling. In real life, we may as well put down the “idol burden” and let ourselves and the people around us accept an imperfect but real enough and sincere self.